Today is the first day that my blog is accessible on the net.  I have two other posts you should read before this one. (bottom of the page, click on previous post).  I am Tony Taylor and today I am having non-invasive spinal surgery.  Five hours from now to be exact and frankly this whole idea of anesthesia has me a little concerned.  But, I have chosen to do this because I miss my mobility.  I know that my blog is mainly concerned with films and metaphysics but I have to talk a little about being under anesthesia.  Everything inside of me is telling me that I have to do this but there is that little voice still whispering “What if you don’t wake up?”  In my first two posts I talk a little about altered states of consciousness, and I will be talking about it in great detail soon because I love that film………..ALTERED STATES!!  Anyway, back on track, my concern about anesthesia is this: When I have altered my state of consciousness in the past it has always been on my own terms…..Today, someone else has control and that is frightening to me.  I have read a lot about the possibilities and ramifications of being “put under” and they don’t bode well.  My uncle is an anesthesiologist and he has told me that in his 20+ years of experience he has found it safe for the most part.  But statistically it is not the most comforting prospect.  So since I have promised a little more about myself here it is…….I have Peripheral Neuropathy which means (for me) that the nerve endings in my feet are dying.  It makes it nearly impossible to walk without extreme pain.  Because your feet are numb, your depth perception is thrown off which makes you susceptible to falls and sudden dizziness.  There are constant shooting pains that feel like needles in your feet which sometimes feel hot or sometimes cold.  Really hard to explain, but the weird thing is that I do not have Diabetes which 99% of the time is the root cause of this disease.  It’s taken two years for doctors to pinpoint a problem that “may” be the cause of my particular case.  Needless to say it’s in my spine………….So, yes, today is a big day for me…..I have been mostly bedridden for these past 2 years and the idea of getting back out in the world is EXTREMELY attractive…….today I take my first stab at fighting back!!  I’m psyched and I must say, severely worried.  But I must also say this….these past few  years have allowed me to do things I would never have attempted.  My entire life has been about travelling.  Always, on the move.  Rarely staying any place for long.  All of that has changed and I feel better for it.  So I don’t want you to think I feel sorry for myself because I don’t.  I feel motivated.  I’m going to regain my mobility one way or another………..So now you know a little more about me………I will write more later and I can’t wait to get to it because I have some stuff in store that Is most unusual….but for now…..I’m off to the hospital……….CHHAAARRRGGE!!!  see ya later…thanx for stopping by….tonyImage