Today is the first day that my blog is accessible on the net. I have two other posts you should read before this one. (bottom of the page, click on previous post). I am Tony Taylor and today I am having non-invasive spinal surgery. Five hours from now to be exact and frankly this whole idea of anesthesia has me a little concerned. But, I have chosen to do this because I miss my mobility. I know that my blog is mainly concerned with films and metaphysics but I have to talk a little about being under anesthesia. Everything inside of me is telling me that I have to do this but there is that little voice still whispering “What if you don’t wake up?” In my first two posts I talk a little about altered states of consciousness, and I will be talking about it in great detail soon because I love that film………..ALTERED STATES!! Anyway, back on track, my concern about anesthesia is this: When I have altered my state of consciousness in the past it has always been on my own terms…..Today, someone else has control and that is frightening to me. I have read a lot about the possibilities and ramifications of being “put under” and they don’t bode well. My uncle is an anesthesiologist and he has told me that in his 20+ years of experience he has found it safe for the most part. But statistically it is not the most comforting prospect. So since I have promised a little more about myself here it is…….I have Peripheral Neuropathy which means (for me) that the nerve endings in my feet are dying. It makes it nearly impossible to walk without extreme pain. Because your feet are numb, your depth perception is thrown off which makes you susceptible to falls and sudden dizziness. There are constant shooting pains that feel like needles in your feet which sometimes feel hot or sometimes cold. Really hard to explain, but the weird thing is that I do not have Diabetes which 99% of the time is the root cause of this disease. It’s taken two years for doctors to pinpoint a problem that “may” be the cause of my particular case. Needless to say it’s in my spine………….So, yes, today is a big day for me…..I have been mostly bedridden for these past 2 years and the idea of getting back out in the world is EXTREMELY attractive…….today I take my first stab at fighting back!! I’m psyched and I must say, severely worried. But I must also say this….these past few years have allowed me to do things I would never have attempted. My entire life has been about travelling. Always, on the move. Rarely staying any place for long. All of that has changed and I feel better for it. So I don’t want you to think I feel sorry for myself because I don’t. I feel motivated. I’m going to regain my mobility one way or another………..So now you know a little more about me………I will write more later and I can’t wait to get to it because I have some stuff in store that Is most unusual….but for now…..I’m off to the hospital……….CHHAAARRRGGE!!! see ya later…thanx for stopping by….tony
A Little More About Myself
03 Tuesday Jun 2014
Cherie Sumner said:
Tony, I am in full streaming tears. Oh my God! This is a God moment. I read your story of your Peripheral Neuropathy. I am so sorry of the pain and torment you go through. I can totally relate! That is why I am crying. I am suffering with the same symptoms as you! Since last winter, the doctors here have been trying to figure out what is going on with me. I too was tested for diabetes, and that came back negative, thankfully. My father has diabetes, so I felt sure I was genetically following his footsteps. But no. I had my circulation tested, blood tests, etc. and they came back normal. Then I had an MRI, and it showed arthritis on my spine to possibly be the culprit of numbness and shooting pains in my feet. The MRI shows some kind of boney changes and doctors are baffled why my blood tests are normal yet something is wrong. I am getting worse…and I too fear I will not be able to walk soon. I am scared. I do not talk to people about it, because I want to be strong and be myself. My writing helps me fantasize and escape. I am so sorry that you have suffered. I think maybe I could possibly have what you have and the doctors are not diagnosing me accurately. I go back to the neurologist in July. Every medication they have put me on does not help and some make things worse. I am so thankful to find you on Cosmo and that I came here to read. We have something in common, that I wish we did not….lol…but at least I do not feel alone in my pain of something taking over my body that is out of my control and scary. As I type this, my feet are throbbing right now, and feel like beans are in my toes, rubber bands tightly around them cutting off circulation. It is the most terrifying feeling to not be in control over your own body. I want you to know that you can freely speak to me about your struggles as I can relate to what you are feeling. You seem so strong and I admire that. I do hope you can live a normal life and get your mobility back in full. I will pray for you, my friend. Love, Cherie
Cherie!!!! This is incredible…….I can’t believe this. A God moment to say the least……..I’m in shock….there is so much to talk about…..Oh my God ….a friend….yay! …or maybe I shouldn’t be so happy that you are suffering…..lol….I’m sorry…….listen I just wrote you a blog…my blog today is for you…..read it and i’ll find you on cosmo or something,,,,we need to exchange info…ther’s so much to talk over………kisses….
Cherie Sumner said:
Yes, this is amazing not to feel alone….I am scared my doctors are misdiagnosing me and missing the real problem. I am going to do research on Peripheral Neuropathy. My back and feet are hurting me now,and I was hoping to get out to the movies. If I can go, I will have to prop them up on a seat in front of me…lol…to get relief. I am happy we are friends and I have someone to talk to about this. xoxo Cherie
Cherie, I know that it is God that put us together because of our similar struggle…….there is so much for us to share. God bless you for your kind words and insights….I look forward to learning more of our shared experiences and I will be seeing you around the pages at cosmofunnel, I am so glad you are in my life….tony
Cherie Sumner said:
l hope your surgery went well. I know you were so nervous about the anesthesia. I do not do well with anesthesia and get very sick and nauseous. Now that I know your situation, I will pray for you every day. Please let me know how you are doing. God bless you. Love, Cherie
I think I can help you with the research aspect, having done so much myself already. i’ll be in touch soon…..promise….tony
Georgina Richardson said:
You are already helping people to learn about peripheral neuropathy and you are also helping the medical teams that are helping to find the correct treatment for you sweety. You are a very brave young man and a wonderful spiritual soul and I pray every night for you honey to try to help you feel psychologically stronger and you are so very positive aswell as brave honey.