Yesterday so much happened, that today I am paying the price for being so blessed. Please allow me to explain. I write a lot of poetry, every day I write two or three new pieces, (for the most part) and it’s been going like this for several months. Yesterday, I was rewarded for my efforts in the form of recognition. Some of my poems now stand ready and at the brink of actually being published. I was in contact with interested parties and the possibilities are truly staring me in the face…….and oh my heart jumped with joy, I mean just the idea of leaving behind a book for my son’s to read when I am dead and gone literally made me get up and start to pace around. And those of you who know me, know just how friggin’ difficult that is. But wait, it gets much better…….yesterday I received an email from the front desk of my building, letting me know that there was a package waiting for me. Well, it is very difficult for me to walk and so sometimes I will wait until I’m feeling “just right” before making a trip downstairs. Yesterday I didn’t, I just had a feeling I should go. So I went down 9 floors to the lobby to get my mystery package. When I saw the label on the box I was happy to see it was from home, it had my mothers address on it. When I got back upstairs and opened it, there was a note on top that said, “Thinking of You” and the handwriting inside was that of my sister Tina. It made me smile. Then upon inspecting the contents I was simply blown away. My mother and I, several days earlier, had talked about how my illness had caused me to gain some weight and that I was having trouble buttoning my pants etc. well, my sister had taken it upon herself to remedy the situation. Inside I found Levi’s jeans (my favorite) another pair of pants I would most surely have chosen for myself, shirts from all of my favorite designers and brand names, socks, boxer briefs, very cool shorts, and other assorted clothing that ONLY my sister Tina could have chosen so perfectly. Needless to say I was EXTREMELY excited…….I tried on some things and when I saw myself in the mirror something just came over me. Now, you guys know that I leave my building rarely, except to go to the Doctor or Hospital, and I NEVER go out alone, it’s too dangerous for my health. But I was so excited by new found Christmas morning gifts that I did the impossible (well at least until that moment I thought of it as impossible)……I finished putting on all new shiny things and I was determined to go downstairs just to feel normal again and interact with some people because the clothing had given me a confidence I had forgotten I had. So I went downstairs, to the bench out front which is as far as I ever go, with the idea in my head that might run into a few people and maybe strike up a conversation, (something I haven’t done at length in nearly 2 years). Well, as I sat outside enjoying the summer breeze a friend from the building recognized me and said, “Hey Tony, do you need a ride?” …I hesitated and was about to say No when the word “Yes” popped out of my mouth. I knew everyone would be mad at me if I even mentioned going off on my own alone so I seized the moment. I grabbed my platform cane and said, “can you drop me down at the Beach tunnel?” and off we went. It’s only 4 blocks away and it’s where the tunnel goes beneath Lake Shore Drive (where I live) and opens right on the beach on the other side. I was so happy to be outside, on the beach, by myself, with my new clothes that I felt renewed. It was a magical thing and seemed to bring me hope in things to come. I watched the people playing volleyball, jogging, skateboarding, and bathing in bikini’s. I had forgotten how precious freedom of movement really is. I had forgotten the potential opportunity just in the ability to walk alone. Well, I stayed for about 30 minutes and I had a long, slow, painful, walk back home, but I was smiling all the way. I had to stop 5 times for rest but I didn’t care, the pain was secondary to the pleasure of being out there on my own. It reminded me what it was I am fighting for every day. And it made it easy for me to decide to have that “Spinal Cord Stimulator” surgery. (after I study all the variables of course) But because my sister sent me that package the positivity in my mind has a new source of motivation, Thank you Tina. And thank God for allowing me to recognize just how fortunate I really am. The picture of the child on the beach above, is what I saw yesterday on the beach, and although my feet are extremely painful today, it was well worth it, just to see the joy in the childs face as she played on the beach and splashed in the water……..I am Dartanion2……..and that’s the way I see it………..cheers………t xx
I have spent over 20 years pursuing the truth about the “Third Eye”, and it’s history through evolution and spirituality. Remarkably, both paths have led to very similar answers. My findings and conclusions have been remarkable and have led me to new capabilities. I have so much information about this subject that I will probably be posting on this subject again at some point.
For me, the “Third Eye” began with books. The Antedeluvian world, books on the Kundalini and the 7 chakra’s found in Hinduism (in Hinduism it’s called Ajna, the brow, or 6th chakra). In most mystical/ spiritual faiths it’s believed that the “Third Eye” is a concept that refers to an invisible eye, which provides perception beyond ordinary sight. Armed with only this “basic” understanding, I began meditating in closets (for the darkness) for long periods of time, during which I would focus on the spot between my eyes (with my eyes closed) until I began to see light. The light (for me) always began with a lavender ray and then turned into astonishingly bright white light. I practiced this for many months, several times a week, before I began seeing results. Eventually, the spot between my eyes became sensitive to my thoughts, I could feel an actual pressure point between my eyes and when this feeling was focused on in darkness, I began to see light, INTENSELY. It was always accompanied by an overwhelming feeling of euphoria. I became adept at focusing on this point and then guiding the light to different points on my body. I could have the light completely fill up my entire body with warmth and the feeling that I was somehow healing myself. It was (and still is) exactly like that feeling you get when you kiss someone you love, and you get that warm fuzzy feeling in your stomach. I have never able to heal myself of any physical ailment, but I always felt much lighter , and happier , and unafraid as I approached my day, after having meditated on the “Third Eye”. I was young. I had no idea what I was doing but, knew I was doing something positive for my soul. I now know so much more that explains those early experiences……….
In ancient times, it is believed (by some) that humans had a functioning third eye in the back of their head that had a physical as well as spiritual function. Over time, as humans evolved, this eye atrophied, sunk into the head, and became what we know today as the “pineal” gland. In theosophy, the “Third Eye” is also believed to be related to the Pineal Gland.
In modern medicine, we know THESE things to be facts: The pineal gland is about the size of a pea, it is shaped like a miniature pine cone ,in the Epithalmus, which is in the front and center of the brain, between the eyebrows, and in the groove between the two hemispheres of the brain. Also, the pineal gland is the ONLY organ (aside from the eyes) that detects LIGHT……….let me repeat that…………..IT DETECTS LIGHT………………it also secretes Melatonin, which controls and maintains sleep patterns……these are medical facts…..now think about that………….controlling sleep patterns would be highly beneficial for practitioners of meditation, for obvious reasons. And coupled with perception of light, which is what I was experiencing when I had no idea what I was doing. On top of all of this is the fact that Pineal gland is a vestigial organ. Vestigial meaning an organ that has become dormant because of human evolution and the effects of environment, forcing the organ into submission. Like the appendix, which no longer has a use, but is a part of the digestive system and thought to have been used to digest leaves.
Now, when you put all of this together it seems pretty obvious that the “Third Eye” is not a myth or a religious fairy tale. In my opinion, it is the doorway to the light and innate ability heal. To this day I am able to call up that pressure point between my eyes and send a feeling of Euphoria throughout my entire body, at will. At the drop of a hat I can call up this warm feeling of prison power that calms and protects me. It’s like a secret weapon I have developed over time through persistence and FAITH, and it’s root, once again, is Energy! No matter where you look in the world of METAPHYSICS there stands a singular truth, ENERGY is immortal and constantly changing (evolving). The “Third Eye” , one of the roads less traveled and yet lays beckoning to be mastered…………..imagine the possibilities, you could learn to heal the sick and teach your own body how to rejuvenate itself. The “Third Eye”…….is REAL!! and if you are a healer…..it is a gift from GOD!………I am Dartanion2……and that’s the way I see it……….cheers….t xx
OK, I promised you from day one that I’d keep you apprised of what’s going on with my health and, to that end I speak to you today. I missed yesterday’s post because I was at the Doctors consultation for my immediate game plan. If you haven’t been following my blog I have a little disease called Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuropathy (C.I.D.P.) It means the myelin sheath protecting nerves is deteriorating, causing the nerve endings in my feet to slowly die a painful death. Right now my feet are in so much pain, and balance so of course, that I can’t walk a block without assistance of some kind. And the act of walking itself is extremely painful. I have recently undergone three non-invasive spinal surgeries, basically, injections directly into the spine to reduce swelling and increase the flow of spinal fluid. Well, turns out, the sheath is deteriorating faster than anticipated and the recommendation on the table is this. The picture above is what they are suggesting be surgically attached to my spine to slow the deterioration of the myelin sheath but mainly to reduce pain, thereby increasing, quality of Life. And so my friends such is the state of affairs that is my life. I’m sure there will be plenty more to come on this subject, for now, I am considering the point, actually, I realize that this is something must be done, it’s just that I need a little time to get used to the idea, is all. Thanks to you all for all the emails and warm wishes over at Cosmofunnel…… I look froward to you ALL………….
Quality of Life is a big thing, right now I have to spend, at least, 6 hours in my bed, with my legs elevated for relief from pain and to promote blood flow to my feet, each day. Lately, the pain has been so bad that I spend at least 10 hours a day with my feet elevated, just for comfort. Pain really is the mind killer. (but I’ve already gone into all of that) What really sucks is that I don’t get to outside much….so when I do, the first hour or so seems very surreal. It’s strange. Anyway, take a good look at the picture above, that is a spinal cord stimulator, and my doctors and surgeon are suggesting I have that thing attached to my spine, look at the picture again, that little box, lower left, gets sewn under the skin at the top of my right butt cheek, it’s the twelve year battery. In the pic you can see they are attaching wires to my spine and then will be sending little bursts of electrical stimulation to various locations, for twelve years. Now, I don’t know about you guys, but I was not thrilled at this news. In fact, I told them I needed to think about it. It’s such a bizarre and invasive thing, it’s hard to get your head around it. I mean LOOK at that contraption…..it’s visually intimidating. So now you have an idea of where I’m at with this “condition” of mine. Our hope is to be able to cut pain in half, and afford me the freedom to move around under my own power. This part of “Quality OF Life” may just be worth the risk of having them install this thing in me. My life would be so much better if I could go to the grocery store on my own. Be good for my self esteem as well. Look at myself, talking me into it. Do you know how much this operation will cost? Do you wanna know? Of course you do, because the next time you see me playing my guitar on some small stage somewhere, you’ll be in on the secret. You know the secret……..Tony’s a Cyborg!!…..the total cost for this procedure is $20,000.00…that’s a lot of cash…….Unfortunately, my insurance happens to pay for this procedure so I can’t wiggle out of this……regardless of everything, right now I need to sleep…….I do my best thinking just before dreaming…..it’s very meditative…..reflection at it’s finest really. That place where you float. the place where you learn to control your dreams literally. Any way that’s for a different post. Today we toast to friends and successes, I think there’s gonna be plenty to go around. I am Dartanion2 and that’s the way I see it………….cheers………t xx
In the black water hills of West Virginia there’s a town where mountain magic is said to exist, and everyone who has dared enter there has never been seen again.
They say it’s because of the old Black Water well, where the drinkin’ is good and keeps the spirit alive. Some people say it was the old witches that started the spell but no one recalls in any detail. They just shrug if you ask them and they pass you right by, but the town folk swear they hear people die somewhere up in the hills, each night. It’s said sister Mary Sternbridge is the one who started it all in the first place, and for the life of them all, no one recalls where she lives. They say if you listen real hard………you’ll find Tony…….who took the day off……….smiles……..It’s Sunday and I need a break……..please forgive me……..make no mistake……..I had no Black Water………..my mind is just great……………..I am Dartanion2…….and that’s the way I see it…………cheers…………t xx
I started to post on an entirely different subject today, but I ran across some information, half way through last night, that forced me to trash the entire thing. So, I am going to wing it, but about a film that I’ve seen at least 10 times so I know it well. And the subject matter is most interesting, which is why it’s one of those movies that I see at least once a year, the subject; “freedom of speech”…Most people when they first see it just think of it as a teenage “angst” film. It is not. One of Christian Slaters first starring roles and the screen debut of Samantha Mathis makes for a very unique look at the power of WORDS. Driven by one of the best movie sound tracks to come out of the 1980’s, Slater plays a pirate radio DJ………his listening audience is only a couple of miles in it’s reach, so Slater doesn’t really think any one is listening to him on his short wave radio set. He is new in town and he begins venting on the air about what’s happening in his High School. There is a strange number of students on probation or being expelled, and yet the school boasts the highest SAT scores for kids in the entire state. The movie opens with one of the koolest songs ever and Slater talks about himself as “HAPPY HARRY HARD ON” and much sexual tension and frustration, and awkwardness that he feels at being in this corrupt school with no real hero’s to look up to. Well, needless to say, some of the kids in the school catch onto the show and sends it spiraling out of control. The soundtrack always adding to the ride as you go along. “Harry” begins receiving mail from his listeners, one of which turns out to be Samantha Mathis who is one of many trying to figure out who this rebel DJ really is. During the course of responding to one of his fan letters, he reads the words “I think I’m going to kill myself, what should I do?”……he does a fine job of talking to the kid on the phone while on the air. The next day they get the news that the kid has indeed shot himself in the head. All the while, this killer sound track keeps pushing the film forward. Harry is distraught because during his conversation with the kid (which was brilliant by the way) he never actually says “Don’t Do IT”…….well this stirs up the adult community and unites all the kids because they all heard him talking to the kid on the air and no one blames him, accept the adults of course!
The reason I love this movie so much is because the power of WORDS is so prevalent in this film. Kids begin using his words to graffiti the school and raise questions about the illegal goings on of the administration of the school. Words take over the entire film and come to a head when the FCC (Federal Communications Committee) gets involved and threatens to arrest the DJ for his involvement in the death of the suicide kid. Some of the scenes in this movie of slater talking on the air are beyond mesmerizing, the writers provide him with such brilliant dialogue that it becomes more than a movie, it becomes a movement, a worthy cause, the kind of cause that everyone can appreciates and most would fight to defend. So when the critics said that this movie was just another teen angst movie….they were doing their usual bang up job of being completely wrong….this movie still makes money to this day. It’s one of those films that gets better every time you see it. And THE SOUNDTRACK is magic…..the whole thing is an amazing experience, and well worth the 2 hour investment of your time. The movie literally ROCKS!!!
I am Dartanion2 and that’s the way I see it…………..cheers………….t xx
Hi guys, today I would like to talk to the new family I have found at cosmofunnel.com an interactive community of writers and painters sharing their work, their ideas, and mostly, their friendship. I have been there participating in the poetry family of friends. Today I consider myself incredibly blessed to have found this new family of poets and true friends, so much so that I am now on a first name basis with some and communicate with them outside of the site as well. One of my new friends actually had a vision with me in it where she described everything about my room (where I write) down to the finest detail. It is a physical impossibility considering that she lives across the pond in England. Another, has inspired beyond myself to try new styles of writing that I would never have attempted without his encouragement. It is a self-less community where the number one rule is to share and support others. I don’t know of another community where this exists. But the magic of cosmo is real and palpable. Because of this community I am involved in several writing projects. My friend Jeremy Hennessee has shown me what the Edgar Allen Poe’s and Sylvia Plath’s of the poetry world have evolved into. This guy can write with intelligent darkness of both of these great writers and still finds the time to message with me until all hours of the night talking of new writing ideas and everything under the sun. For a writer these types of friendships are invaluable for they allow you to see through the eyes of others and, for a writer, perspective is a HUGE part of the equation. See what I mean, selflessness! I have never seen such an outpouring of kindness and sincere affections a poet when their pice strikes a chord in the community.
Whoever it was that set-up and established this format for writers and painters was/is a genious. It seems every day a new friendship is made and new love affairs with art of writing are cemented. It is because of my friendships with members of cosmo that my blog is doing fairly well now, Oh who am I kidding my blog is doing VERY well because these new found friends. I passed three thousand views as of yesterday, due greatly to 4 of my cosmo friends. Georgina Richardson, Curtis Longstreet, Cherie Sumner, and, (of course) Jeremy Hennessee. Who’s time with me has made me insane and competitive……two attributes most writers would kill for. (lol) What these individuals have done for my blog is this…….there are now conversations going on in the comment section of my blog. People are discussing my daily topics, because you (my cosmo friends) started it all by commenting daily yourselves. I don’t think i’ll ever be able to re-pay for their kindnesses. Cherie Sumner, a great poetess and weaver of Romantic poetry is a fantastic writer and very dear friend who just yesterday took a fledgling writer under her arm and gave to her the contacts and game plan for publishing her first book without asking anything in return, she took hours out of her day yesterday, just for the sake of helping another writer. I don’t know about you but these sorts of things just don’t happen very often but, on cosmo they happen each and every day. Curtis Longstreet reached inside of me with kind words of encouragement and helped me find what will now become my first “Themed” book of poetry, without ever even knowing he did it. This is what I mean by the magic of Cosmo. So, if you are reading this and you are considering writing as a hobby or a career this is one helluva place to start. So, when I chose the picture of the man on his knee offering a rose to another, I chose because I feel like I have been invited into a home and relationship of love……..and I humbly admit, that I feel blessed to have accepted the rose……
And in honor of that gesture I would like to submit a poem, which was inspired by this team of loving artists and which I never could have written without their collective kindnesses. My friends have read this before (I think) but you have not……..
The nonchalance of boys who wait in hunger
And touch their toes to the dirt and do not look up
Are not giving way to the ruling classes
They are giving way to human nature
They will not grovel, they will not beg
But they will wait for darkness, to rummage through
The garbage bins
For they would rather give way to their hunger
Then bow down to other men
Who wear their evil arrogance upon their
NO! you will not find them, on their knees
As cowering clowns
You WILL find them, in line, at break of day
Waiting for an opportunity, to pay their own way
Prepared to slave
Prepared to participate, in saving human dignity
Prepared through their own Faith, and nightly prayers
I think these souls are more familiar, with
More than most
For they are heavens army
Standing every post
Bowed heads, accepting handouts
That they return to other starving souls
One by one they built this city
With honor and strength of will
I consider them
The very best of men
And the foundation upon which
I am Dartanion2……and that’s the way I see it………………cheers t xx
OK, Have you guys seen the film “Stigmata” with Patricia Arquette and Gabriel Byrne? I have spoken of this film in an earlier post. In fact, it was one of the posts that very few people got to see. So I thought i’d add a little more insight because I Love this film so much. I’ve seen it 6 times and the reason I Love it is two-fold. First, it deals with my kind of subject matter. And second, because it is inspiring, in that it ignites my curiosity each time I see it. What I mean by that, is that it has sent me in pursuit of information that I would not otherwise have come in contact with.
In the movie there is a scene where two priests are discussing the existence of a missing Gospel that has been kept away from this world. It is a document that was discovered in the 1st century, in the caves where the “Dead Sea Scrolls” were discovered. It is said to be in Jesus’ own words (which is Aramaic) and was spoken to his disciples at the last supper. They were, supposedly, his instructions to his disciples on how to continue his Church after his passing. In the scene, the priests are sitting in a very large and beautiful church, and one priest asks, ” Look around. What do you see?” They both conclude that it’s a building. He continues, ” The true church of Jesus Christ is so much more, No priests, No churches…..and then he proceeds to quote the first words of the missing Gospel……….”The kingdom of God is inside you and all around you, not in the buildings of wood and stone. Split a piece of wood and you shall find me. Lift a stone and I am there.” Ever since I heard those words I have been a different person. Whether or not this Gospel ever existed, and is complete movie fabrication, is irrelevant to me.
For this reason; when something touches your soul, your entire being is elevated to an extreme state of alertness. Anyone who has kissed someone, and felt the warm elation of Love in the pit of their stomach, knows exactly what I’m talking about., it can’t be explained, it just IS. And you feel all the better for just having experienced it, no matter how brief or fleeting the moment. You never forget it. It is a heightened state of awareness that is achieved completely naturally. No hallucinogens, no meditation, no sensory deprivation, just an instantaneous explosion of pure energy and joy. Now, I know that for some of you this sounds ridiculous, but I swear to you that the explosion of pure energy and joy has been happening to me throughout my entire life. I have so much more to say on this subject but right now I need to finish my thoughts about this film.
When I said that “ever since I heard those words in the film, I have been a different person,” it’s true, because what it did was to validate for me, that I was not a crazy person. It allowed me to restart my pursuit of information that was so profound in me as a youth. I realized that everything I had always thought about the church, was true. It’s a big building, where people go to give money and prayers so that they don’t have to go to hell. Like going to the grocery store. I wanted to be a priest as a child but I grew up very skeptical as I got older, because when I went to church, I would speak to people who were so full of shit, that it was like being punched in the face. Husbands and wives would be quietly fighting and cursing at their kids during the sermon. I saw a man steal money out of the collection plate. Stuff like that. It was demoralizing so I set out to find the truth for myself.
All of this came bubbling up again because of this film. There is so much more to relate (and I will) but for now I will leave you with this………..”STIGMATA” is the appearance of open sores on the hands, wrists, head, feet, an side, sometimes accompanied by lashes across the back and shoulders of a person, which may, or may not bleed continually, for LONG periods of time and never get infected. These locations, are THE locations of the wounds received by Jesus Christ just before, and on the day of, his being crucified. Perhaps this film will inspire you, maybe not. But one thing is for sure……….It’s a MUST SEE movie in my book……I am Dartanion2……..and that’s the way I see it………..cheers………t xx
Don’t ask guys……..it was an incredibly frustrating night which only proved to show me just how little I know about my computer…..somewhere right now, sits my best post just smiling and laughing at me. I got so frustrated at one point I just said, “Ok, i’ll go to sleep for a few hours and i’ll figure it out when I wake up.”…..needless to say, I still can’t figure it out……..The post was on EDGAR CAYCE the Sleeping Prophet………it was one of my best……I know this guy inside and out……..then……I HIT THE WRONG BUTTON…somewhere in the editing process and now I can’t find it…..there’s not even a record of it in my TRASH file……..I have NO idea….it’s enough to make me want to take some kind of advanced computer course………ANYWAY I brought an Apple for the teacher so I may be excused from losing my homework. That’s what it feels like………the dog ate my homework,…….my sister got mad at me and threw it in the fireplace………..I was ROBBED…..it’s so frustrating that I’m going to assume that some supernatural force did not approve of my post. I will lay off of the subject of Mr. Cayce for fear that my laptop will implode or something. It’s kinda like when you can’t find that missing sock in the dryer….where do all of those socks go anyway? Yep. I know ….somewhere where they can hang out with my post from last night right?…..well this blog concerns itself with all things Metaphysical….perhaps I can find some extra sensory answer….anyway, enough of my sucking up to the teacher……….sorry guys, but here’s an apple in replacement for my lost homework…..I’m going to meditate now before i do some serious damage to this fantastic Sony VAIO…….may the god’s of technology smile on me later today……..I am Dartanion2……..and that’s the way I see it……….cheers………t xx
Today I would like to talk a little about my family over at cosmofunnel.com …..It is a poetry site where like minded individuals share their poetry and sometimes the intimacies of their lives. It is truly an inspiring community of writers, who support one another and look out for each other. Through “Cosmo” I have made a loving and particularly truly gifted new friend. Today I would like to tell you about her as she has been an inspiration in many parts of my life. She has opened up her heart to me and showered me with love and attention. She is the biggest supporter of this blog and the only person I know who has read every single one of my poems and commented on them all. She is a wonderful poet and a superb writer, and a bright spiritual light, who’s beliefs include all things Metaphysical. She so freely and generously shares her incredibly detailed paranormal experiences with us here on this blog. She is an “Angel” that I feel God has sent especially just for me. She supports me in my struggle with my disease and she tells me she loves me at least 3 times a day. She is the most beautiful selfless person I know. So much so that she has agreed to share one of her most intimate pieces with you all here today. It is a tribute to her son Andrew who sadly died from cancer in May 2009 at the age of just 31. She wrote the piece for the 4th anniversary of his death, and in it’s finest sense it shows their love for each other. I call her Georgie, her real name is Georgina Richardson and here is a piece of her life and her loving heart….
He is no longer mine
He has left me a great mountain of memories
His feather soft kiss still plays on my cheek
My heart still bursts and sparks with the flame of the love we shared
With the dreams we dreamt
The wind still sighs
I still melt with the memory of the warmth of his skin in my quiet moments
I still see his smile in moonbeams high
Hear his laughter in the fire of the sparkling stars
Stilled are the echo`s of the fire in his soul, his shine
The sweet memory of his soft perfect skin
He still dances in the rhythm of the blossoms in sway
Still his aura caresses sweetly the leaves on the swaying branch
He is no longer mine
His soul holds me gently
His song dries my aching tears
Still I feel him close
Always part of me
For we are bound as one
Thank you Georgie
God bless you, and forever keep you safe.