So, allow me to preface this by saying that it is not my intent today to speak about “The Word” as it is referenced in the bible, or any other place for that matter. I want to speak about what has happened to me of late, personally. How words have been affecting me recently. The real miracles that have been steadily flowing into my life lately, all because of WORDS. Not just words alone, but the positively charged words, that have been sent out into the world with good intentions, and how those words have been returning to me as small miracles.
Today was one of those days when I was actually PROUD of myself because I did something to help someone else, without the thought of personal gain or recognition. I helped someone, by using words, simply because I wanted them to feel better about themselves, by helping them to do the right thing. By doing something positive for all involved. A conscious decision to do what was right. I stressed this point because I am still learning just how powerful words can be, especially with the inertia of positivity behind them. I am a newbie to this concept so please pardon any perceptible naivete’ in this write. I posted the photo of the surprised child above because that’s the way I’ve been feeling ever since I started this blog and began posting poetry online at (cosmofunnel) just a short time ago. I have a progressive disease that has been difficult, and caused me to deal with depression and anger as I have never been forced to deal with ANYTHING in my life before. If you’ve been following this blog then you are well aware of whats been happening on that front and it doesn’t really need any further explanation here.
As I began posting poems online I began to get feedback from perfect strangers. Mostly positive words of encouragement that eventually helped me to sit up in my bed. I had been depressed quite a long while and spent most of my time reading or watching movies or doing simple things to keep me distracted but nothing motivating enough to get me to “sit up” completely in my bed. One day I got a comment on one of my poems that said, “Tony, you have quite a gift for words etc.” and it was if an alarm (or a siren) had just blasted its way into my waking state and lifted me straight up in my bed. Like I had found something I could do that didn’t require walking. I don’t know why it had never occurred to me before, probably because I was so new to the internet that I did understand its potential. But mostly it was because someone had taken the time to read what I had written. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I had never written anything before, it was that I had never “really” gotten any recognition for my written efforts, and I had some minor successes at writing in my past. Credit for lyrics on a few CD’s put out by musicians and poems had been something I had been doing most of my life, in one form or another. I have written over 70 songs but I have never received any honorable mentions or serious pats on the back or any adulation of any kind, not really. I always felt that people never really read (or understood) what I was trying to say in my efforts. I’d get lots of “Hey! Great Song!” type compliments but none ever seemed genuine. So I had resigned myself to the idea that I was just another in a billion writers out there who never “really” get read. But then I found this little Poetry sight where people would actually comment on what I wrote and actually tell me what they liked about it. It made me feel like someone was finally listening to what I had to say. So, I got hungry for it. I started waking up every day with ideas popping out of my pores, I was so excited that I hung on every word that was sent to me via this poetry site. It changed everything. I began taking all my medications as prescribed. I began making Doctors appointments. I began looking for new answers to my disease. All the while, pouring out poetry every day. I posted over 100 poems in less than six weeks. During this honeymoon period I was getting feedback from my poetry friends not only on my poetry but on personal life which they had surmised from the content of my poems and, of course, its easy to talk about yourself when people seem eager to listen. During that time I have determined the cause of my disease and begun a regimen of surgeries and treatments that I would never found without having gained the inspiration through the positive use of words. Words from other people, most of whom I had never even met. I decided I wanted more, so I decided to begin writing about that which I knew best. And I discovered old notebooks of mine that I’d been carrying with me all around the world for years. Notes and poems and songs all concerning themselves with ideas and hypotheses concerning Metaphysics. I had no idea I was compiling information all those years. I always thought of it as just a personal hobby. So, I started a blog on the subject. Now, I spend hours every day researching and gathering material so that I can get down (on paper) exactly what it is that I want to say. I am so motivated each day that I don’t think I’ve even turned on my TV for any length of time. Its more of a nuisance than anything else these days. As the blog began reaching people I began getting emails and letters from people relating to my illness as well as my thoughts on the workings of the universe. People have actually cried because they were so happy to find that there disease was not some aberration, that they were not alone. My family and my friends are supporting me because I have so positive about everything in my life. My entire world has expanded because of the “inertia” created by positive words. I cannot say enough about how excited I am each day just to wake up with something that matters to me. I never had anything even close to what I have now, even though my walking days are nearly over. I may not be able to run or walk properly ever again but I am learning to fly. I am learning everyday that the reason for this is simple. POSITIVITY and its inertia. The ball has begun rolling for me and all that was required for this miracle to occur, was, ONE, KIND, Word………thanx to my friends at cosmo namely Georgina, Cherie, Jeremy, and Curtis….without you, none of my little miracles would ever happened……..My ball has inertia now, I need only stay positive……….I thank you with everything I am………hugs-n-kisses…..tony