Hi Guys!!……….yesterday was supposed to be the biggest Doctor’s appointment of my life…..Ha Ha………whatever could go wrong ……..went wrong………..my driver who was given instructions that it was the biggest appointment of my life got a flat tire and called for back up………..the new driver had to pick up another passenger and wound up showing up at my place at 3:30pm………..my appt. was for 2:30……….I had been on the phone with ALL 3 different agencies involved in my case……..needless to say mis-communication between them all created more chaos………and I wound up calling the University of Illinois Surgical Center for Neuro-Stimulation myself at about 4:00pm myself……….apparently the other agencies were unable to get through themselves. So, when I called , LO and Behold, they were expecting my call and in less than three maybe four minutes I had a new appointment for next Monday at 3:30 pm……they were actually excited to hear from me and didn’t ask any questions and were just happy to re-schedule……which led me to believe that they are just as excited to get this operation under way as I am…….SO……although I was depressed, anxiety riddled, and generally pissed off……..in the end it all turned out all right……….next week I’m hiring a private transportation firm to make sure I am there on time…….but in the meantime I have to deal with pain which is steadily getting worse………what the heck……..it’s been 3 years getting this far…….what’s one more week…………interesting thing is, God, came to visit me last night………and today I’m feeling much better than usual………..hope it lasts until my new pain meds show up here on Thursday…………God has been there for me each and every day of my life and sometimes I forget that………..and during times like the one yesterday……I feel ashamed for not fully giving myself to my belief in Faith………and my Faith in God is diminished because I forgot that it is HE who is ultimately in charge and my little tantrums are more than unbecoming and a slap in the face of GOD………….I am so sorry about my selfish and unthinking behavior yesterday………I am trying my best and I know that that God knows I’m imperfect but sometimes I hate my selfish arrogance in thinking I can do anything without His help and guidance……….yesterday I acted as a fool would act,………..today……..I am a better man for it……….so do not worry…………we have so much to talk about…………….Astral projection coming up and a fantastic piece that my friend Georgina did on “The Stars” coming up as well…….funny how things outside your control have such great messages within them if only we take the time to listen………I am Dartanion2……and that’s the way I see it……..cheers…….T XX…………………….ps. SHOUT OUT to UK………huge numbers these past few days…………..thanx GEORGIE and Co………..smiles
“Yestserday Was A Disaster……..But……….God is still on the team……”
02 Tuesday Dec 2014
Posted Uncategorized
in
Dear Tony, I am so sorry about yesterday. I have been praying today and hope things will now go according to schedule for next Monday. Let’s. Hope your meds arrive on time and are effective. I feel so helpless sometimes and wish I could do something. I am very hopeful that your upcoming. Spinal stimulator surgery will be a great new change towards combating pain. God knows your frustrations and understands our human nature when handling stress and disappointments. He has a plan for you, sweet T. It is under way. I love you. See you soon. Xox Cherie
Your’e right Cherie, God knows my frustrations and he always a plan………so glad I have you to talk me through these insane moments when pain seems to get the better of my positivity……….love you for that………see ya In a couple of weeks sweetheart………smiles T xx
Hello dear Angel….
Awww…the more reading I do…the more I see myself there…doing the same…and it still happens on occasion…..the tantrums…anger….disillusionment….disasters to self and mind….
It takes a lot of perserverence and patience…as well as self-talk, meditation…and mind music to calm the savage beast pain makes us become….and like children….we cry…spit, and sputter…..but….God is always there…..in the minds eye…and heart….least we forget….he is keeping us alive for a major plan….despite the pain….isolation and silence we have to deal with…..while we watch the world go by outside out window…..
If God didn’t give me words to replace what I lost in the last 30 years…….my friend….I wouldn’t be here…..I wouldn’t be alive to have found you and Cherie……and my world wouldn’t be as full of sunshine and hope….prayers and dedication….to finding a way to balance the moods when they hit….
Don’t beat yourself up…..it’s good that you are able to admit and be so authentic about what you say……because it helps others see what they can’t feel….and understand why we need their support and prayers to help us through the battles that lie ahead……
GOD’S GUIDING LIGHT
Do not despair Angel, God is with you
And in.In the blink of an eye we can see
That the chaos inside, is just a reaction
To the pain we cannot seem to set free
It’s another cross we’ll have to bear
And as long as we can see the light
God will be there…to guide you to safety
From the demons we face every night
Be brave dear child and continue dreaming
For if you give up, or give in
God’s power will lesson, the devil appears
Keep your mind calm, and you’ll win…
(c) Brenda Keough
June 2, 2015
1:25-1:27 p.m.
My prayers are always with you Tony….
God bless
Keep smiling 😉
Giggles the Poet
oops….if you could ignor that typo….lol