II have thought, on many occasions, to leave my mark upon this world.  And I have been in Love 7 times in my 55 years…….and each time the woman I Loved found me unworthy……although each beginning was filled with feelings of majestic light and significance……each time………my true colors were not enough………..for my heart was never settled…….always more………more to see……..more to experience…….more ways to find God………..I fought with alcoholism and addictions of many sorts……..but none could kill me even though I often wished they would…….but throughout my many experiences……….from Iceland to Jackson Hole…………I did find in this…….my retrospect………that it was truth driving me on………..my sons were my only glory……and yes I was in magazines, tv movies, starring roles of every sort, ……from music to poetry……….but I never found what I was looking for ……..because I was my own worst enemy………always moving……always searching……..skiing the highest mountain tops……….escaping my own fleshly body through altered states of consciousness………even seeing the true pulse of all things………but never enough…….never enough……..my appetite for this life is killing me……..I see that now……..now that I am sick and disabled………but I find that it is an honor to have found my true friends in this life……..and swear upon the holy energy that is this life……that I will NEVER stop …….never give up on that which I know to be the only truth……..we are all energy evolving……..and the things we do in this life…..the actions we take………..echo……….never die……….and truly matter in the face of evolution……….for the only truism I have been able to find is that……..to love and be loved matters……..but not as much as the recognition that we are all contributing to with our life experiences……to something much greater than our little lives……..and that truth can be found………in the ever evolving nature of ALL things……..energy leads to the understanding of all things………and that we are all a part of that most amazing perfection……..T