Stop, this day and this night, that I may reflect upon my sisters life. Have you ever read Ralph Waldo Emerson’s essay entitled “Self Reliance”? I mention it only because when I read it, I began to understand my sister much better. As children we often referred to her as “mother hen” because she was so “no nonsense” in her daily approach to things as they arose. Things always had to “get done” with her, as I recall. Her tongue was razor sharp and her hugs always felt like home to me. My sister Sabrina lived one life outwardly and another inwardly. Outwardly she was always speaking her mind no matter the consequence. She seemed to many, abrupt and angry over life’s many intolerances ~ and to many she represented a steadfast, opinionated, business type woman. To me, as I came to know her better ~ and please understand I am just a brother who gleaned most of what I am conveying here through hundreds of conversations on the phone over the past 13 years or so…….she clung powerfully to the love of her children, always making sacrifices for her daughters Marissa and Meadow, the kinds of sacrifices that must have hurt deeply, but always she looked forward on their behalf because knowing they went to college meant much to her. She rarely gave that same intensity of Love to others. If she Loved you wholeheartedly, you knew it and you felt it full on. She did not speak what others taught or believed, she spoke directly from her own mind and heart ~ I always thought there was a type of genius in that non-traditional path of hers, for inwardly she was very Godly in her intent. We spent many, many hours, speaking of her Love of God. How when you looked closely, you could find God in everything. However, she was quick to snap vehemently at you, if your belief system clashed with hers. (smiles) I know in my heart, God has welcomed her home.
It’s VERY difficult to measure the sum of a persons life ~ some people believe that you can sum up a persons life by the Love’s in their lifetime……….I was there, in Chicago, when she told me she had fallen for a man who wore clogs! His name is David Fassino, great guy, and Marissa’s father ~ she knew I’d like him because I wore clogs too! (smiles) I listened intently as she spoke of Danny’s hardworking and forthright attitude toward life ~ he gave her Meadow. But there was only one man ~ one person ~ to whom she gave ALL of her anger and ALL of her Love ~ and VERY importantly ~ All of her respect ~ his name is Allen Partlow ~ for it was in him that she found that same respect returned, unconditionally. Truly……..unconditionally! She spoke many times of how he had changed her faith in humanity. She was completely taken aback by his relentless giving and sharing and how he cared for Meadow. She told me once, she had never experienced that kind of rarity of heart. I can’t say I understand all the in’s and out’s of her personal relationships……….but I DID understand her struggle with alcoholism, having fought the same battle myself. That struggle was profound and kept her secretive, when it came to speaking to others about much of her life. She didn’t want anyone to see that part of herself and consequently cut herself off from many people that she Loved dearly. Because, as any functioning alcoholic will tell you, it’s near impossible to say the words “I am an alcoholic” aloud ,and then NOT do something about it. I stayed with her a short while once in her home with Troy, where she forced me to go to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. (smiles) She could always see right through me in that way ~ birds of a feather I guess!! But she was always doing things to help others with her insightful advice and rarely helping herself.
Some people believe you can sum up a persons life by their accomplishments. My sisters accomplishments were many but I always felt her most outstanding was in her steadfast independence ~ her self-reliance. Emerson, whom I mentioned earlier, said………”To believe your own thoughts, to believe that what is true for you in your own private heart is true for all men, speak your latent conviction, for it is of the universal mind; for the innermost in due time becomes the outermost, and our first thought is rendered back to us by the trumpets of the Last Judgment.”
My sister was a great woman, with great difficulties. I Love her for who she was and I respect her for who she wasn’t. Hers was an iron will. There was no changing her mind once her mind was made up on any subject matter. To me she was an angel ~ a Libra constantly trying to balance the scales. She was a powerful influence on my life and she will always remain that way. I miss her already. And there are many friends and family members lives that she has touched with such profound memories that I dare say, that this world will not spin the same without her, now that she’s gone home. I know that eventually we ALL must be separated from one another but this was too soon, and my heart hurts so badly because of the suddenness of her departure from this world and the suffering she experienced. Glide on the Love from us ALL~ into the awaiting arms of the welcoming angels my dear sister. I Love you ~ you are forever a part of us who know and love you ~ i’ll be talking to you often………Tony
I wish I could have posted her picture here but my computer isn’t functioning properly ~ my apologies.
Dearest Tony, you did a beautiful job honoring your beloved sister. I felt your heart all the way through. She is very lucky to have you as her big broher. My sincerest condolences to You and your family. Be proud of the words you have immortalized here on behalf of her love and life. I am with you in spirit. God is in control and holding you in His care. Feel my hug and empathy. Here for you always. Much love, Cherie
Hello angel,
Such a beautiful way of honoring your beloved sister, My condolences again brother…she is smiling down on you…Sounds like she led life her way, which not many people do…And now she’s at home with God. She was called for another important purpose…but she will always be there looking out and guiding you, until you meet again…
love and hugs T, it was an honor for her to have such a wonderful brother like you….
Love and hugs
Giggles the Poet
OUR BORROWED TIME
God bless my dear friend and his family
For the sadness that now overwhelms
Lord, remind them that although time is borrowed
That the spirit and memories they carry will never end
Lord, please give them the strength now to follow
The path that you have laid out
Show them through the power of love
That it’s what each one holds inside them that truly counts
You remind us Lord that through each of our days
What you give us is something we borrow
What we must create and cherish forever
Is a love that we hold, that won’t pass with this sorrow
God, show my dear friend and his family
That to see this angel, they can just close their eyes
And to remember the laughter, strength and the love
Will stay safe within the heart, sacred memories never die
God bless my dear friend and his family
And for those we lose, and for those who’ll remain
We will always remember that although our time is borrowed
We will one day all meet our loved ones in heaven once again…
© Brenda Keough
May God bless and protect you all during your time of sadness….
Tony,
Very beautifully done. God willing, you will meet again. She has not left she has just gone on ahead.
Love,
Joe
God bless you sweety, I am so sorry to hear that you have had to give your sister to God, but please be reassured that she is still with you and watching over you, but watch out because you`ll still feel her wrath if you`re a naughty boy though….lol. I love you honey and you are always in my prayers.
G xxxxxx