The day I had my very first lesson in Meditation and the reason that it was so symbiotic and natural to the course of a person’s life, was a day I shall never let go of worshiping and casting a gentle eye toward the heavens in quiet gratitude for.  It changed me in a split second of self-realization.  I knew ~ I have always known (although I pretend that I don’t) that I was given a gift of NEVER quite fitting in with everyone.  What I am trying to convey is much more complex than that simple sentence so allow me to elaborate as I write this “off the cuff” for you today unexpectedly ~ Life has a way of doing the unexpected.  Don’t misunderstand, I have some pretty impressive social skills it’s just that I never quite liked the idea of showing my hole card to anyone, today, I will show one.  I was in the John F. Kennedy Center For The Performing Arts, Washington DC, when a co-worker, a young black woman who was studying at Georgetown University, asked me if I’d like to join her for a “quick meditation” after work.  I told her that I didn’t know anything about it and she told me it didn’t matter it was just a relaxation technique that she had learned to help her with her crazy-busy life.  I agreed not knowing that what was about to happen would change my life forever.  She called it a white light meditation.  We found a quiet spot, not hard to do in the Kennedy Center, especially when you work there, where we sat comfortably and she told me to close my eyes and begin to find my comfortable breathing.  I assumed she meant just to breathe normally when she asked me to close my eyes and look for the light.  I had no idea what she was talking about and she knew it, because she said quietly, ” just continue to look at the inside of your eyelids and the light will come. ” I didn’t speak ~ I was afraid I’d interrupt her practice so I followed along when suddenly I could see a light.  I said I can (and i’ll never forget this) “I can see a lavender light.” she didn’t speak.  So I followed the light.  It was a dot in the vast darkness.  I continued to focus on it and it began to grow and seemed to move toward me.  She whispered, “Let the light turn white.” In a few moments it did.  She whispered again, “Follow my voice, let the light come to rest above your person like a little sun and then watch the bottom of it open.  As it opens, it begins to pour down inside of you,  first, filling your head with a light that feels warm, comforting, helping, healing, energizing, and as it begins to work its way through your neck and into your chest area repeat the words, comforting, helping, healing, energizing, purifying ! ~ into your legs now, helping, healing, energizing, purifying, until it fills your entire body with warmth, helping, healing, energizing, purifying !”~ my entire body felt so wonderful I was in Love.  I was in love from that very first encounter with the power.  When I opened my eyes she was looking directly at me.  She hadn’t kept her eyes closed at all.  She had been guiding me through my first white light meditation.  She smiled and said ” Tony, no one see’s the lavender light on their very first try.  You were born with something very special.”  After that she stood and wrote something down on the back of a business card.  I thought she was trying to sell me on a course in meditation or something, but she wasn’t.  In fact, I never saw her again.  When I asked about her at work they said her studies wouldn’t allow her to work any longer.   That was all.  The business card that she had given me was for a book shop in Georgetown near the University.  It is named “YES!”  Yes book shop.  On the back of the card she had written the words ~ “you should frequent this place my friend!.  Hugs – Cleo “…..and I did for several years, getting books on everything from TM to Edgar Cayce………she and the shop, and the moment of lavender light had changed me forever.  It has led me to the ability to use my third eye in meditation’s now and to call up the warm feeling ~ that encompasses me and holds me in its Love whenever and wherever I need it.  Of course I’ve left out a WHOLE LOT of learning and experiences to get from the lavender light to the “Third Eye” but I needed to share this with you so that you will be able to begin to comprehend my back story ~ because~ I’m going to go into some pretty heavy duty shit coming up in my posts soon and it’s important that you know that CLEO was not just an accident or a coincidence of some kind………she’s so much more than that.  She knew then, 36 years ago that I’d be writing this post right now.  Hard to believe?  Hell yes it’s hard to believe.  I had no intention of writing this post last night, but, when I woke up this morning………well, guess I better save something for the upcoming posts, right?………..I am Dartanion2 and that’s the way I began learning it!!…………smiles………T xo

When I was a boy I wanted to be a priest.  My Mother tells me that I went to the Church all the time ~ anytime the doors were open just to be in there.  Not for years or anything like that but there WAS a period when it was important to me.  I grew up Catholic so I did the whole first communion, catechism,  confirmation thing.  Somewhere inside of me I have ALWAYS known there was a GOD!!  Singular.  One God for all people with just different names according to culture.  But as I got to my 12th Birthday I was convinced that the Catholics didn’t have it right, I mean the intent was right but the practice was lacking.  I gathered this by a few disappointing occurrences in Church itself.  Things that made me ill to consider or even mention here.  I was a boy and it scared me.  So, ever since being disappointed I have been looking for God, mind you I had no idea that “searching” was what I was doing, I was just exploring to my mind, but no matter what it was that I was doing, or participating in, I ALWAYS found side trips to power places, tribal rituals, meditations, magic, pyramids, ruins, etc ~ all over the world.  I ALWAYS wanted to know what was “behind the curtain” kinda thing.  So I worked in a magic shop, I was a tour manager taking Europeans around the United States, Canada, and Mexico.  I was in bands traveling the country, writing songs and lyrics and constantly writing poetry my entire life.  I worked at the John F. Kennedy Center in Washington DC and as the National Symphony orchestra would rehearse, I would sit in the “Presidential Box” smoke a joint and write poetry.  I have done Sensory deprivation chambers, Mushroom Ceremonies with Indians in the mountains of Oaxaca, Mexico, Followed Carlos Castaneda’s path through Pima Arizona and into Mexico to meet the Yaqui Indians with the successful introduction to some shaman who taught me how to achieve out of body experiences and on and on ~ all the time looking for the man behind the curtain.  I simply had to know if there REALLY was a God!  I had NO IDEA that throughout my travels around the world, and every state in this country that I was taking notes and documenting, in different ways, everything.  Poems, stories, songs, magazines, and EXTRAORDINARY acquaintances.  So when I got sick 4 years ago I found I had Notebooks filled with information.  All of it seemed to be aimed at spirituality and Metaphysics.  It was then I decided to write a blog since I had accumulated so much material.  I was actually in shock when I realized that I had a definitive goal in mind.  Metaphysics and Spirituality leading me to that which so many of us refer to as God.  Now, for the very first time in my life, I know what I want to do.  Also, I actually like myself for the very first time.  I actually get up every day needing to write and do research.  I have been housebound for the past three years so I have had a LOT of time to catch myself up on the missing reading and research needed to declare that I will be getting a degree in Metaphysics, and finishing my first book.  I have already written over 800 poems at my work-station COSMOFUNNEL.COM ~ if you care to read some of my work there in the poetry section of this creative site for painters and poets under the name Tony Taylor which is my given name, I completed three new songs for Dan LaMaestra and The Naval Jazz Ensemble which plays for the White House, I have completed 150 poems for a book of poems entitled “Cherie’s Inspiration”, been published in two spiritual books on poetry and completed over three hundred posts for this blog  ~ which concerns itself with ENERGY and Metaphysics.  The reason for the degree in Metaphysics is because along with that degree you receive Clergy Credentials which will allow me to get on the waiting list to get into The Vatican Library ~ one of my big dreams……Ultimately I hope to be able to speak to people about energy and God.  My book is already outlined and I believe with these last three years of daily writings I am ready to publish a book revealing some extraordinary metaphysical experiences, life as a Mulatto Man, and relationships with a number of “very recognizable” actors and musicians and various Hollywood types.  I am writing this now , off the cuff,  because I want my sons to know in case anything goes wrong with my health issues…….but the whole truth is ~ it’s something I really need to do for myself as well.  I have found my path in life ~ I am a writer………and brother ~ have I got a story to tell………….I am Dartanion2………and that’s the way I see it…………cheers…….T xo

Hi guys!!……I have been putting off this latest installment concerning my health because things have been VERY complicated.  First, I have two more surgeries coming up in the next week and I wanted to be clear about what’s happening with the stimulator because I am getting SO MUCH response to these posts that I didn’t want inaccuracies to be a part of it.  My first surgery, on Saturday upcoming, is on my spine.  The reason being, my stimulator is finally starting to work properly………let me make this PERFECTLY CLEAR!!……When I first got my permanent implant, my Doctor, Dr. Konstantin Slavin at University of Illinois Chicago (U.I.C.) told me that it would take about a year for my body’s physiology to adjust to the device.  A few months ago I thought that it was a load of crap because the Stimulator was causing more problems than I thought necessary.  It does cause unforeseen problems…….but…….in recent weeks the tremulousness in my chest and arms has vanished completely.  THAT was a HUGE problem because the tremulousness was causing psychological problems ~ namely, for me ~ that I was no longer in control of my own body and that turning off the device DID NOT turn off the tremulousness.  THAT, was driving me crazy.  But now that it is gone (the tremulousness) I am able to recognize the help that my feet are receiving because of the neuro-stimulation provided by my spinal implant.  I actually called my pain management Doctor and asked him to lower my dosage of Hydrocodone daily.  That is a VERY big deal in the world of pain management ~ and for me personally ~ it gave me a new-found confidence in my stimulator.  Now, that is NOT to say that things are perfect because they’re not.  But, the Spinal Cord Stimulator IS doing its job.  It hasn’t completely freed me up from pain but it HAS reduced the pain by what I would like to guess-timate as 30%.  It’s hard to put numbers on these things because I have a VERY strange disease and the stimulator implant is also causing some previously non-existent back pain but I think we’re going to clear that up with my upcoming surgeries which will allow me to walk better and thereby bettering my quality of life.  There are still a lot of “ifs” left to be dealt with but I thought it only fair to my Doctors to tell the truth here because my last two posts on the stimulator blew up my email with thousands of negative messages and I don’t want to take part in anything that diminishes the possibilities of the “intent” or progress that this device has made over the years.  That being said, there IS something that needs to be conveyed.  My friend Cherie, who has a progressively worsening case of peripheral neuropathy went to her Doctor complaining of foot pain , nothing as dramatic as what I’m experiencing, and without having ever met her before or EVER having asked her ANY questions ~ the Doctor recommended a Spinal Cord Stimulator.  Upon hearing that I started asking the other people who have contacted me about their cases of Peripheral Neuropathy, some with pain, some without pain, and what I got back was absolutely mind-blowing.  70%of the people I spoke with, 123 people who write to me concerned about their numbness or pain, 84 people said that their Doctors had either mentioned or recommended the Stimulator.  After having done research on Peripheral Neuropathy for the past 4 years I have learned that there is really no cure only “Band-Aid” type solutions for those with extreme cases.  So, it stands to reason that since Peripheral Neuropathy cases, without Diabetes being the cause ,is reaching near-epidemic proportions, that Doctors are scrambling for answers.  But, what is extremely bothersome is that when it was first suggested that I get a Stimulator, I was told it would cost $25,000.00, but when the I got the bill from my insurance company the total cost was $166,000.00  ~ so there is a definite incentive for doctors to push the Stimulator.  Money!!   I’m not going to go into any more of the gory details here but I will say this………A Spinal Cord Stimulator should be a LAST resort for anyone dealing with the pain of peripheral neuropathy and NOT for anyone who simply has numbness and uncomfortable pain.  Your pain should be extreme pain because, after all, the ONLY reason for the device is PAIN RELIEF and nothing else!!  Ok ~ enough said.  Other than, in MY case, at this point in time, it’s working ~ and it’s working well, after a year of problematic side effects.  To me, the side effects have been worth it!!……..I am Dartanion2…….and that’s the way I see it………as a patient, NOT a Doctor!!……….cheers……..T xo

Hi guys ~ guess that title has your curiosity peeked.  As it should.  The reason I say that so easily is because when people find out that I write a blog on Metaphysics, inevitably someone asks, “So what’s the deal about our Universe expanding?”  The truth is I began this blog because I believe that Energy is the key to understanding everything about our Universe, God, and our (humans) latent, metaphysical, capabilities.  I will spend the rest of my life studying and learning everything I can, by whatever means possible, to prove my hypothesis correct.  I am on a path right now to gaining the credentials to be able to spend some time in the Vatican Library where I believe I will find some of the answers I’m looking for.  Not ALL.  For I believe that many of the answers I’m looking for will manifest through metaphysical approaches and observations.  Having said that, let us approach this question of our Universe expanding.  Everything about this blog is inherently about Energy, and to understand the Universe you have no choice but to understand the workings of energy.  Since many of you have been following this blog you already know the basics so I will give a brief accounting here so that I may answer that question for any newcomers.  These are the basic facts.  Everything in the entire universe is made of energy.  That includes human beings, thoughts, water, the planet earth, the ring on your finger, the moon, your breath, your computer and anything else you can name or think of……..it’s all energy that has been manipulated one way or another to form MATTER.  Since Einstein’s theory was proven we know that matter can be converted into energy which means that the two are interchangeable or matter = energy.  Now, to the point!  Energy can be measured so we can always talk about an amount of energy no matter what unit of measure we are using.  The Universe is an entirely different story.  You CANNOT measure the Universe.  The reason is that we don’t measure the Universe the way we measure energy.  There are several ways of looking at this problem.  You could consider the Universe as simply being its VOLUME.  Volume is by definition ~ “an amount of space.”  So, the Universe is an amount of space with energy in it.  Some Physics masters have thought to measure the Universe by the amount of Matter within the Universe but again Einstein’s theory comes into play where all matter is interchangeable with energy so we’re basically discussing different forms, or interchangeable “states”, of the same force.  Either way this doesn’t really address the problem.  In the 1970’s we sent probes into deep space that are still sending back information about our Universe.  Technically, we have not defined the volume of the Universe.  We haven’t reached the end so we don’t know if the Universe is finite or if it is Infinite.  So when you hear someone saying that the Universe is expanding……..they are NOT saying that it is expanding physically, they ARE saying that our awareness of, and our information concerning the parameters of our Universe IS expanding.  As of today, we do NOT know if our Universe is infinite or if it is Finite.  Our hypothesis about the Big Bang certainly points to a finite amount of energy being released at the birth of our Universe.  Which, to my mind, logically suggests that there is a finite amount of energy within the confines of a finite Universe that we are still exploring and trying define.  However, it is also possible that there is an infinite amount of energy in an ever expanding Universe.  The truth is, when you hear someone say that our Universe is constantly expanding ~ what they are actually saying is that our knowledge about our Universe is constantly expanding whether they know it or not.  The question of the parameters of our Universe is one of the hottest topics in all of science today.  It’s being debated by scientists and lay people, like myself, all over the world daily.  I hope this gives you some clarity.  What it has done for me personally is that whenever someone asks me that question from now on ~ I can just say, “Check out my blog for the answer!” (smiles)……..thanx for hanging with me through that explanation.  I hope that some day soon the answer you’re looking for will be more definitive.  I know that this sounds like a convoluted answer but the truth only works one way, and the truth is ~ no one has proof positive about how big our Universe truly is, so there is NO way to give a positive answer one way or the other………..   I am Dartanion2…….and that’s the way I see it!…………cheers………tony xo

Hi guys ~ been a while I know………but……….even the gravest of illnesses will EVER keep me down.  Which is precisely what I would like to discuss today.  See the two children on their bicycles above?  Of course you do!  But do you remember what it was like to BE one of them.  I do, and fortunately, I still have that childlike quality.  I can’t tell you how many time s I’ve heard , “Tony, aren’t you ever going to grow up?” in my lifetime.  Well, it used to bother me but now, most of my friends tell me it’s what they love about me.  Go figure?!  Well, so many times I’ve been speaking with a person who didn’t really didn’t know me well and I would hear things like ~ “You mean you just packed a bag and left for Mexico without any plans?” or “You mean you just got off of the plane at Rekjavic and decided to stay a few months in Iceland even though you were heading to New York?” ~ Well, YES!! ~ is the answer to both of those questions.  It’s how I’ve lived my entire life.  I’ve never been afraid in this world.  I suppose it was because I had an unusual set of skills and unusual set of parents.  My mother is white. blonde hair and greenish eyes, my father is black and Cherokee Indian.  So, for me, as I looked around at everyone else’s parents as a child I suppose I always knew that there was no reason to stick to the status quo because, after all, my parents were rebels if you consider they were a bi-racial couple in 1950’s America.  More on that story another time.  But as I grew older and searched for meaning in this world I knew one thing, and one thing only.  That I was not like most other people here in this country aside from my siblings of course.  What I didn’t know was that there were others like me I just didn’t have any contact with them.  In school I didn’t have to try very hard to get good grades so I was focusing on extra curricular activities.  I was a professional magician by the time I was 15.  I was soaking up opera, ballet, and symphonies at ages 16 and 17 because I worked at the John F. Kennedy Center in Washington D.C..  When I was 19 I learned how to plat the acoustic guitar.  Now, during ALL of those years I was writing, poetry mostly.  I used to sit in the Presidential Box at the Concert Hall in the John F. Kennedy Center and write poetry while I listened to the National Symphony Orchestra rehearse.  I wrote my first poem in first grade where I won the school contest for Thanksgiving poems and the Principal put my poem up on his office wall.  It was one of the best feelings I have ever had as  a child and so I guess it was a defining moment for me because I haven’t stopped writing poetry since.  A person doesn’t write poetry for money or fame, I think most poets write because we are somewhat arrogant really, or maybe selfish is a better word ~ hell, I don’t know I’m just a writer, a real writer writing what I see and know from a place that is singularly my own with no thought of fame or glory because poets NEVER make money, unless they win the Pulitzer or something.  I just recently finished my 800th poem on Cosmofunnel.com ~ a creativity site for painters, short story writers, and poets ~ and that’s just the last 18 months of my writing poetry.  I imagine I have written somewhere around 5 or 6 thousand poems in my life ~ mostly left for waitresses on napkins in outdoor cafe’s the world over or for girlfriends and lovers ~ many, many, for my mother (one of my hero’s) and of course I’ve written 171 songs with lyrics.  But what truly set me free was my guitar,  Because when you can play the acoustic guitar AND you have a bunch of original songs ~ you NEVER have to worry about money, no matter where you are in the world.  Music is a universal language so when I found myself penniless in Iceland, all I had to do was play some pubs for cash.  What I found was that the FREEDOM that it affords you, in my case anyway, was the freedom to pursue to pursue my beliefs concerning God and all things Metaphysical in this world.  I have always known that I was drawn to religious pursuits and anything that could show me the truth behind the façade presented to the world concerning these pursuits.  It’s why studied Magic as a child ~ I’ve always wanted to know how things worked and in my case ~ HOW to unveil the truth about God.  As I grew older it occurred to me that the most logical path was through Metaphysics and the knowledge of exactly how this world worked.  So I have I learned Physics, Cosmology, Astrobiology, biology, Quantum Theory, and just about anything I could get my hands on that could lead to some understanding of what happens to us after this lifetime and ANYTHING that having to do with the inexplicable.  I have done these things by teaching myself through books and to a great extent by traveling this planet to the most powerful sites, from Teohtihuacan and the Mayan ruins to our south to having mushroom ceremonies with the Yaqui indian elders in the mountains of Oaxaca in Central Mexico, every single state in America, Stonehenge, Caverns all over the globe with ancient writings, to the most recent discoveries of the modern world in Turkey and Syria either through my travels or the travels others.  I have spent my entire life trying to develop my belief system to a point where there is undeniable proof that God is not just a Santa Claus or some Myth perpetuated by the money or power hungry men and women of this planet.  When you have a guitar and you can play it, money and power become irrelevant, and my search has remained unimpeded for 36 years.  When I first got sick 5 years ago and I became housebound by no choice of my own I needed still, a means of expressing myself and continuing my search ~ my brother sent me a computer, which I had always snubbed, I discovered the internet and NOTHING has been the same since.  I found that I had tucked away in my bags from travels around the world, some 37 notebooks filled with notes and poems, and songs, and a ton of impressions of some of the worlds most beffudling places and things.  What I discovered running through them ALL was a Love of Metaphysics.  In my songs, poetry, short stories, drawings, experiences with sensory deprivation chambers, meditation experiences and instruction, out of body experiences and a plethora of mind boggling accomplishments and experiences that I NEVER considered anything but irresponsible.  Because that is what everyone had been telling I had become and so I had come to believe it myself until I got sick and began reading my own story.  What I came to realize so far, is this.  It was my freedom of spirit that drove me to seek out the Shaman in Mexico, to sit for hours motionless in Transcendental Meditations promise to escape the body, to scour the globe in search of what was already in me to find.  It was in my child like innocence that my search for meaning in this crazy world, that FREEDOM OF SPIRIT  and faith in God has brought me this far with the knowledge that I now have a purpose in this reality.  That I have something specific in mind to do with my life, something I have never had before………guess I’m finally growing up!…………I am Dartanion2 ……….and that’s the way I see it…………cheers………..tony xo